I recently saw a quote pop up on my Pinterest page that read, “Be the Person you needed when you were younger”.
For whatever reason, this quote seemed to resonate with me and made me think about what type of advice I would have given to my younger self, if I had the opportunity.
I think a lot of us often wonder what our lives would be like had we have known the things about ourselves that we do now. Would we really have turned out so drastically different? Or would the way we go about things in our everyday life change? Would this cause us to second guess our every move? I think most of us would tend to agree that in every tough situation, a little hindsight could be helpful. These questions made me seriously think about the type of conversation I would love to now have with my yonger self.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
I think across the board, all women would love to go back in time and tell their younger self this piece of advice. I remember waking up 2 hours earlier than I needed to just to clip in my hair extensions, curl my hair, put on my makeup, and change my outfit 6 times just to go to school. Now if I had been doing these things for the right reasons, I would say go for it! But I know now that the reason for weighing myself 3 times a day, freshening up my makeup in the bathroom at school on any occasion I got, and looking in the mirror analyzing every part of my body that I hated was so that no one could find bad things to say about me. I was so unbelievably insecure with my looks that I didn’t even enjoy being given a compliment, because I would always assume that the person saying something nice was joking or that there was another reason for saying something nice to me.
I also was so hard on myself that at any point in time if I saw someone whisper something around me or laugh, I would think that it had to be something to do with me no matter what. I would then run to the bathroom to exam myself in the mirror just to try and find something that was wrong, I would be convinced that this was reason behind the whisper, or the giggle.
I’m now happy to say that when I spend a little extra time getting ready, or I’m doing something that I feel will improve myself, that it is for me and only me. The reasoning has nothing to do with outside factors. This is what I would love to tell myself then – do things for you, and not to make others happy.
Don’t worry so much about what your future will bring.
Today’s society is presented with adult decisions you know nothing about when you are 17. The idea of applying for college or university and investing so much time & money into something you’re not even sure you will like is terrifying. I know for myself that in my last year of high school, I still had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I switched programs 3 times, and even once I found a program that I loved – personal issues & outside factors nearly made me want to drop out. You can’t, and you won’t know if what you’re doing is the right decision. Trust your instinct and do what you feel is best for you at that time in your life.
Things will very rarely work out the way you expect them to.
Whether it’s relationships, friendships, schooling, or a job, etc. Almost nothing you do as a teen, and even when you are in your twenties (and I’m sure your entire life for that matter) will ever go the way you want it to, but that doesn’t mean that it wont work out for the best. People will come and go in your life. The friends you may have thought were like your sisters will drift apart, the boy you thought you were going to marry someday may cheat on you, or you may wake up and realize you no longer feel as passionate about something you once did. People grow, and with that so do their values in life. I think that when you believe in something bigger than yourself – whether that is God, The Universe, Karma, etc. you eventually learn that everything must happen a certain way for a reason. You are where you are today because of every hardship & mistake you have made.
Happiness is not a destination, it is a work in progress.
This is probably the one out of them all that I am still working on, as we all should. Unfortunately, hardships do come and go and can knock us down even when we feel we are invincible. I believe that the more realistic goal to strive for is to be content. It is when we are content that we can appreciate true happiness when we have it, and it is then that we are able to gain perspective when we are going through the tougher times in life. But in order to be content, you must be willing to put the work in. Strive for great things, and the world will not disappoint.
Last but not least, you will be OK.
This one probably sounds super simple – but this is the one I truly wish I could tell my younger self. Even when things or situations may seem hopeless, it will get better simply because it must. One of my favourite lyrics is from the song Endless Night (from The Lion King Musical) and it says “I know that the night must end, and that the sun will rise.”
I hope you all enjoyed today’s blog, sorry for my absence lately! The thing I often find with these more personal blog posts is that I have to be inspired by something or someone in order to truly write something that I feel could be interesting or helpful to somebody else. Feel free to comment below the pieces of advice you would like to tell your younger self, as it may not only give you clarity on something, but it may also inspire a fellow reader.