The Pros & Cons Of Being An Emotional Sponge

Do you find yourself constantly absorbing the energy of others? Whether someone is happy, sad, excited, or angry, does it affect your own mood even though the situation may not have a whole heck of a lot to do with you? Well my friend, you may be what my mother recently described myself as – an emotional sponge. 

So what is an emotional sponge? Basically, you could describe it as being someone who is easily influenced by the positive or negative energy of others. I personally never really realized it, but incredibly enough, now that I do…it’s amazing to witness how easily your own mood can change depending on what others are experiencing.

My mom told me that the first time she really noticed it with me was when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I guess we were in a mall somewhere in the city eating lunch in a food court when a homeless man came in and sat at a table beside ours. She said that I immediately became very quiet & she could tell that I was upset. I then whispered to her that “He looked sad, so I should just pretend to drop a $5 bill and maybe he would see it and keep it.”

Now like I said – I don’t really remember it that much but she said that I proceeded to get very upset once we left the food court and cry my eyes out in the car ride on the way home. It’s funny how our little brains work when we are young. Now fast-forward 17 years or so later, I have learned that although absorbing the energy of others can be overwhelming at times, that it is a huge blessing. To those who also find themselves in a similar position, just think about the pros…

You Rarely Get Jealous:

The great thing about being an emotional sponge is that when something good happens to somebody, whether it be in their personal or professional life, you are almost always genuinely happy for them. I can honestly say that when others are happy & excited about something in their lives, very rarely do I ever get a jealous thought or think “hmmmm I wish that was me.”

You’re Empathetic:

Now there can be 2 sides to this. When someone else is sad it can obviously put a damper on your own mood as things can weigh heavy on your own heart because you are feeling their emotions so strongly. But the beautiful thing about being an empath is that you are generally a good listener. You are invested in other people’s hardships and feel the need to help without constantly giving needless advice & comparing their experiences to your own.

You’re Intuitive:

The beauty of being an emotional sponge is that you often have your intuition tweaked to perfection. You are very conscious of the different things that you say and do to people because you always analyze how you would respond in that situation. You often overthink, which can get extremely exhausting. But your heart is happy knowing that you did your best to make other’s feel empowered.

 

This was the first blog I have written so far that I was constantly going back and erasing things, it was hard to put into the right words. So, I hope that you were able to find some sort of peace within this article if you too feel this way. Make sure to always try and ensure that your own heart is happy before concerning yourself as much with others, but continue to be who you are….an empathetic, intuitive, & unique individual.

Aleasha. Xo. 

So your daughter wants a tattoo?

Before I even begin this post, I want to reiterate something which I had spoken about in a past post when it comes to giving advice to your daughter – I am not a mother. My opinion is one that is solely based off my experience as a daughter. These pointers are ones that while looking back could have possibly been useful advice to my mother, who basically had a heart attack each time I came home with a new piece of ink.

Now I am by no means an expert when it comes to tattoos, I only have 4 of them, 2 of which are quite large (on my ribs, & thigh) and 2 which are smaller (wrist & neck). Growing up I was not a girl you would have expected to ever want to permanently mark her body. In grade 9 I was still watching high school musical, throughout high school I worked at a seniors home, I rarely went out to party before college, and I was an ambassador for the town in my 12th year of school – pretty much the face of innocence (ok well kind of). I say this because for whatever reason, people seem to associate tattoos with more of a rebellious lifestyle, which is quite unfair and untrue to say the least.

I never really had an interest in tattoos, that was until I experienced something in my teens which made the urge of inking myself very strong. I lost a close friend right after I had turned 17, and I wanted to get something in memory of him. I was shocked when my mother didn’t shut the idea down automatically – that was until we started discussing the ideas. Because I was only 17, she would have had to sign and give permission for me, and we were both on completely different pages when it came to size and placement. I of course wanted it to be about the size of the palm of my hand, she wanted it to be about the size of a dime, and preferably in a spot where it could be hidden. She was very understanding and supportive when it came to the reasoning behind the tattoo. But, she grew up in a time and a house hold where people with tattoos were usually just bikers & bad asses … and not her baby girl. Eventually we came to a decision that I would wait. This way I could be 100% sure of the placement and size. Although I hate to admit it – I’m super glad I decided to wait until I was a little bit older and had a little more time to think.

A few years went by, and I was now 20 years old and really wanting my first tattoo. I still had not come up with an exact idea when it came to the tattoo I wanted in memory of my friend, but I knew eventually I would and I was ok with waiting. I had always been very into quotes, song lyrics, etc. And one of my favourite quotes was one by Charlie Chaplin that went as so, “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.” It was kind of a reflection of how I had been feeling at that point in my life, and I always looked at tattoos as being a part of a diary but on your body. Now I totally understand the irony in this quote (yes I know a tattoo is pretty permanent) but I loved the quote so much, and I didn’t care. And I mean there’s always laser, right? So seriously, NOTHING is permanent.

tattoo4

Now you can bet your bottom dollar that my mother was upset. She cried, offered me cash not to get it done, and called me before my session begging me to change my mind. However after 5 & a half hours of pain, I called her and let her know how happy I was with it. It was a surprisingly emotional experience. And after she saw it, although it was bigger than she had expected – she ended up liking it. The next day she even offered to take me shopping to find dresses that would “show it off”.  That part still makes me laugh.

I waited about 2 years before getting my next one, and thought very hard about its placement, and content. I ended up getting the lyrics from a Lord of the Rings song that my mother & I used to play on the piano/violin, and that also meant a lot to me as the lyrics reminded me of my friend I had lost when I was young. It says, “In Dreams We Meet Again” and has a green spider flower for my friend, because his favourite colour was green, and a pink rose beside it.

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After that, I had 2 more ideas in my head that I knew for sure I wanted. And I waited about a year in between each. The next was my mother’s handwriting which said “Blue sky day.” It was our secret saying we had when I was in college, and we would be speaking on the phone. If she wanted to know if I was having an alright day, she would ask me, “Is it a blue sky day?”. Which was our special little code for meaning it was a good day. Now you may be wondering – how did I get my mom to physically write it out without becoming suspicious. Well truth is, I lied. And no I don’t feel that bad about it, I told her I needed her to write it for a “craft” I was making for her for Christmas – and well I think she secretly knew I was being dishonest. That was the one tattoo I think that she kind of laughed about because she knew I had tricked her, or at least in my mind I think I kind of did.

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My latest one was a cross on the back of my neck, which I kept secret for a couple months before telling her – and well she kind of just rolled her eyes and said “that better be the last one.” Now will it be my last? I think for now, but I change my mind on a regular basis so who knows!

tattoo1

Now as people say – yes tattoos can get addicting. And I think that is something you really need to talk to your kids about, because it could get to a point where they end up getting something they may regret. Trust me, I know a lot of people my age, who have tats they regret already (and I’m only 24 turning 25). However at the end of the day, if they want one bad enough – whether it is for a special meaning, or simply for art, truth is that they are probably going to get one once they are old enough. Now when it comes to signing for your son or daughter who is underage, my personal opinion would probably be to not. Like I said, I’m not a parent but when I think back to being 16 and where I wanted a tattoo, and the size, I’m so happy my mother talked me out of it. I think your best bet, would be to take your son or daughter seriously when they are underage and wanting a tattoo. I know I thought longer & harder about my decision because my mom didn’t shut me down without hearing me out. Talk to them also about the importance of getting a tattoo in a legitimate shop, where professionalism & sanitization are top priorities.  

On the flip side, as a daughter (or son for that matter), it is also important to hear your parents out. I know my mother’s biggest fear was that I would get something I was going to regret, or not be happy with. It is so important when you’re considering getting a tattoo, that you seek out lots of potential artists to check out their work, and that you strongly communicate your ideas and thoughts with them. Always make sure you have a clear and concise idea beforehand, and make sure their final sketch is something you are comfortable with. Also realize that you should be taking their ideas and professional opinion into strong consideration – as they have much more experience with placement, size, colours, etc. than you do.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this post or even found it helpful in some way.

 

Aleasha. Xo.

My Journey Back Home

There is something immensely intriguing about being fresh out of high school, and being from a small-town. You are able to go away to school and be whoever and whatever you want to be. I know for myself, I thought it would be my opportunity to explore a new chapter in my life and become the city girl that I & those who knew me had always pictured me to be. Always being interested is fashion, I assumed I just would end up living in the city, and that would be the end of that – clearly my perspective on things has changed drastically.

Very quickly after moving away from home, I learned that living in the city was not all I had imagined it to be. I thought I would enjoy not knowing everyone – and surprisingly I didn’t. I did make some amazing friends while away in school but somehow I still experienced a feeling of loneliness, even while I was with people. I found myself making any excuse in the book to come home and see my family, and I would randomly decide to come home at 11 at night even though I had to be back in Kitchener for an 8 am class the next day.

Eventually in my last year of post-secondary education, the classic feeling of being “homesick” along with some other health issues I was experiencing at the time got to me. I began not being able to sleep at night, and then being exhausted during the day. I went from enjoying my program and always getting 90% or above on all of my projects to almost failing classes because I stopped caring and stopped going. I also had a lot going on in my personal life at the time (as we all do), and nothing else seemed to matter. If I was able to get up in the morning and get through a day – that was good enough for me. The only thing that comforted me at the time was being at home where I felt safe with my family, and I lost almost all interest in anything else.

One day, my dad finally asked me what exactly I wanted to do with my life, which is when I told him (even though he already knew) that I wanted to eventually open up a clothing store. That is when he stopped me and said “Well you better get to it then.” I was floored – what did he mean? I was only 20, in my last year of school (debating if I wanted to drop out or not), I felt as though I had no control over what was going on around me, and I could barely get a grip on life as it was. How was I supposed to run a business?

After that things happened VERY quickly. We had begun a project in school just that week which involved making a business plan and coming up with our own company. This ended up being kind of perfect for me since I would actually be using that plan. Suddenly I felt excitement again for something going on in my life – and I started planning and working at it like crazy. After coming up with the name, my target audience, my goals, etc. I figured it was time to decide on a location. At first I just assumed it would be Walkerton. The more I thought about it though, the more I wondered. What if my business failed? Would everyone I know think of me as being unsuccessful, and in my own words “a failure”? That is when I decided to open my business in Kincardine. Yes, I realize it was only a half hour away – but it was far enough that I could start out without any expectations, and close enough that my customers from Walkerton could still drive up and not have to spend half the day driving.

Life became pretty insane after that. I was driving home from Kitchener, to Walkerton, to Kincardine almost every day in order to prepare for my stores opening which was planned for May, just a month after I graduated.  It’s bizarre though because I absolutely loved that period of my life, and I still look back on that time as being one of the most exciting & healing.

So here we are 4 years later, and I get asked on a regular basis what my reasoning is for moving my store home. And quite simply the truth is that Walkerton is where my heart is. I was so blessed & so lucky to have spent 4 amazing years in Kincardine & to have met all of the wonderful people I did – I truly loved having my fashion boutique there. But my lease was coming up in Kincardine, and I had a decision to make on whether or not I wanted to stay or check out other options. And for me, moving just felt like the right choice. I guess like Dorothy says, there’s no place like home.

Once I announced  my decision to my friends, my family, & my customers  I immediately felt comforted and like I had hopefully made the right decision to move to Walkerton. I have been so incredibly overwhelmed, grateful, & joyous over the excitement I have received from others about the store’s reopening. I am honored to finally be running A Delicate Edge back in my hometown, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed creating it.  

I was inspired to write this after a conversation I had today, with someone who also experienced similar feelings of being homesick while in school. But is there a point to this story?  I have no idea. I guess my point would be that when we grow up in a small town, we sometimes are taught by our peers that it is a bad thing to be homesick. We convince ourselves that going away and starting a new is the best option. When in reality, we all have different paths in life which are unique and suit our own lifestyles & emotions. Never be afraid to go against people’s expectations & never be afraid to go with your gut feeling. I finally have…and I am excited to see what is in store for the next chapter of my life.

Cheers! Xo 

Aleasha

Do What You Love, Love What You Do.

Hey Friends! 

So it’s funny, for the past few years I have always considered myself someone who likes to keep busy. Perhaps it was growing up and realizing what it takes to run a full-time business, or maybe it was witnessing how busy of a life my parents led in order to make their own business succeed. Until I was in my twenties though, I was never a person who liked to live by a set schedule…mainly because I never really had a reason to. Growing up I always managed to keep decent grades, make my after school job on time, & keep my not-so-busy at the time social schedule on track without really having to try that hard.

Obviously with growing up, owning a business, managing to keep in touch with all those I love, & finding time to complete other hobbies… life has become a little more hectic. As much as I truly do love my busy life, I wonder how others deal with the feeling of never having enough time in a day, as I’m sure it is something we all experience. I lay here knowing I have to get up early in the morning, but I just can’t help and think about all I could be doing at this very moment. (Paperwork, Studying my lines for an upcoming play, Going through makeup clients contracts, Steaming new fashions that have arrived at the store, Organizing the store, Sizing clothing for a cash & carry sale, Etc.). Yet I know if I don’t shut things down for the evening I will be useless tomorrow.

And then my mind starts to feel a little guilty as I question “Am I really that busy?” I mean I don’t have any children, I’m single and am responsible really only for my own well-being, and I still manage (even though it can be tough at times) to make time to go out and enjoy life. I mean I was able to take a 5 day trip to Jamaica in between moving my store to another town, which in retro-spec I totally did NOT have the time for, but you only live once right?

And really, time still somehow manages to slip away and all of a sudden it’s 2 am and I am writing a blog with no reasoning behind it.

And then I realize, every single person in the world can choose to be busy or not. I am very aware that there are a hell of a lot of people who are much busier than I am, and that for myself, being busy is a choice. It was my choice to follow my dream and open up a store which has become the love of my life. It was my choice to go back to school last year as I was running my business and become a makeup artist. It was my choice to take part in a play where I need to be twice a week for rehearsals. And it was my choice to sit here tonight and write this blog as I should be trying to sleep. It’s been my choice to do all of these things, but would I really want it any other way? Absolutely not, because I have enough faith in myself to know I only take on the things in life that I am truly passionate about and enjoy doing.

So I guess this is what I would have to say…If you can at all relate to this post I am so grateful that you decided to finish it, and read it until the very end. Should you feel guilty that you just took the last 2 minutes to read this blog entry, even though you could be doing something much more productive? NO.

 If there has been anything I have learned in the last half hour of writing this, it is that you and I both should not feel guilty for taking time to do the things we want to do…Even if they are not at the top of our to-do list. 

So I guess the lesson here is exactly that, and for now I’m going to do my best to turn my thoughts off and try to get some sleep (just as I hope you do). Because everything eventually will get done, and the things we hope to complete will always be a top priority in our heads. Nothing important really gets forgotten, and the things that do? Well they couldn’t have been that important to begin with.

*PS. Thanks Joc for naming this when I couldn’t come up with a title!* 

*PSS. How do you guys handle life when things get hectic?* 

Cheers!

Aleasha. Xo. 

The Yes Woman!

Hey Everyone!

My name is Aleasha and I would like to welcome you to “My Creative Peace”, it’s awesome that you decided to stop by! Basically, the idea for this blog came about in a few different ways. First off, I knew I wanted to take my creative journey a step further and this is exactly when I had some friends and family suggest I do a blog. I’ve always loved writing and documenting the events which have happened within my life. I am a firm believer that in order to grow you must first evaluate your flaws, your past mistakes, & the wrong-doings of others and that you must use the knowledge to better yourself and your soul. When I am having a difficult day and something is just not going quite right, I often will look back at old diary entries from years ago in order to make myself feel better. I mean, it’s kind of a weird theory – and I have no idea why it makes me feel better, but I think it all must have to do with the process of healing. Going back to certain times in your life and seeing how you were feeling when times were more difficult, can often allow you to understand and finally see how far you have come and how lucky you are to be where you are today. Finding peace within your life can be a weird thing, and I have found it in ways I never thought possible – taking risks, asking questions, & allowing my creative energy to run wild has helped me in ways I could not have thought possible.

Secondly, you sometimes need to dare yourself. Which is exactly what I did about a year and a half ago, kind of like a new year’s resolution (but with no reasoning behind it really). I decided I was going to say yes to anything that came my way and that I was finally going to take advantage of opportunities that had been offered to me. Please note: my one condition was that the opportunity had to of course be something that could end up being positive in my life and I did have some limits when it came to saying yes to something. AKA if someone asked me if I wanted to try some illegal substance I was obviously going to turn that opportunity down (which I hope goes without even saying)!

I had found that all through high school & college, I usually said no to anything extracurricular. Not because I was lazy, and not because I wasn’t interested, but usually because I was scared. Scared of what others would think, scared to fail, and mostly scared of being disappointed with myself. It was always easier to wonder if I would be good at something than it was to physically go out and do it, and see for myself. I always struggled with the idea of being good at something, but not being the best. Or trying something new, and thinking I would be good at it, and then trying it and feeling like a failure. And that is exactly where this resolution has taught me a lesson, and that is that you will never know if you are good at something until you try. You can’t be the absolute best at everything you do and that’s ok. Take time to enjoy each and every opportunity that comes your way, and you will always benefit from the lesson and memories you take away from it.

And lastly, I’d have to say the best part of my resolution was doing things I never thought I could, and meeting some really amazing people along the way. From finally completing a professional makeup artistry program (which had always been a dream) and becoming a professional makeup artist, to taking part in community theater, and now doing this blog – these are just a few of the opportunities I have been lucky enough to say YES to in the last year and a half.

I hope you enjoyed this first story time, and I look forward to doing lot’s more with you and experimenting with My Creative Peace. Remember – you never know what you are capable of until you push yourself to try something new and exciting. Give my say yes approach a whirl – and I PROMISE that you will not be disappointed.

Until next time friends,

Aleasha

Xo.